This site must be fairly new. I'll cruise the internet checking up on KS, mainly when I'm feeling like an alien. This is the first time I've seen this site, so I figured I'd register and post.

I live in the States. I don't want to say which state, because I mostly live in a State of Confusion, which hasn't been recognized by our government even though we have a huge population. Our state motto is "WTF!!!" (we're very tech savvy here). 30 years of age. Was diagnosed around 17. Lucky enough to have parents in medical field who decided it was time to check me out when I obviously wasn't developing with the rest of the herd. Another stroke of luck is there is a world renowned children's hospital in my area. I went there and fought the urge to play with the toys in the waiting room. Alright, I admit I cracked and fiddled with that wire thing that has the wooden beads on it and I picked up a Highlights magazine but was disappointing when some kid already solved that picture find deal they have. I read Goofus and Gallant though and it was the same old. Goofus was screwing things up while Gallant was a pillar of the community. Poor Goofus, I'd much rather hang out with him.

So, they brought me in and asked me questions. I was asked if I could smell and I was surprised! No I can't! I had always thought that I had the ability but never took the time to learn how. I'd always tell myself, one weekend I'm gonna sit down and learn, this is important dammit! But I never did. I was Goofus incarnated. After that they suspected KS and I was setup to get some tests. I was given a hormone test, which I'm not sure of the name but it goes thus: Get IV in wrist, take blood, inject specific hormones, wait, take blood again, compare results. I also received an X-ray of my hand to look at growth plates and also a buccal smear. The diag was KS.

Started on injectable Testosterone Enanthate. It was OK, got my levels up and saw changes. Luckily mom was a nurse and injected me, but in true fashion of my family I was encouraged to do it myself. Mom had me practice on an orange with saline in the syringe. Open syringe, pull back plunger until proper CC is reached, swab rubber stopper on vile with alcohol, push needle into vile above the medicine, inject air to create positive pressure so medicine will flow out, draw needle back into the liquid medicine, pull on plunger to draw out proper dose, swab injection site with alcohol, push needle deep into a large muscle, pull back plunger to ensure you are not in a blood vessel, if no blood in syringe then inject medicine, pull out syringe, replace cap using the scoop method, dispose of in sharps box. Even got a tutorial on randomizing where you stuck the needle into the stopper each time to ensure you wouldn't degrade it and potentially introducing harmful microbes into the vial by inserting in the same spot every time (degrading the rubber). Of course you need to keep a log to. I had what can be described by heroin junkies as a "a kit" Everything in one little bag. It takes alot of courage to jam a long needle deep past the subcutaneous layer and into a muscle and inject medicine suspended in an oil (about like sesame oil). I was told to do it fast, but never could because I would jump at the pain, let go of syringe and it would be flopping around there, it looked like a scene from the Saw movies. So I had to do it slow, get through the skin layer where the initial ouch is, wait, push down into muscle tissue, where you get a sort of deep ache. I recommend massaging the muscle before and trying to stay as relaxed as possible.

I did this through high school and college, had a brief stint with early patches but it was junk. Got out into the work force. Eventually a new brand of patches came out and I liked it. They were called Testoderm and were about the size of a CD if you trimmed the edges to make it oblong. Pretty much the entire surface area was the blister that held the medicated gel. It seeped in and I didn't get the skin burns the others gave me (I assume because of large surface area). Well, as George Carlin said in one of his jokes "If I like something they stop making it." The only other thing testoderm made was a scrotal patch. About the size of a playing card. And as KS people know, your egg bag isn't exactly normal size. Also it required me to shave the area (I had hair at this point). There was a pamphlet in there actually giving a pictorial tutorial on how to shave the house of the twins. Its a life affirming experience to stand in front of the mirror, checking the pamphlet, holding the razor to your buddies and deciding to go along with it. They recommend dry shaving, which seemed to work. But if your gemini house is small like mine, you need to shave more. So I advise to use clippers on the whole shebang and the razor on the "sweet spot". Anyway, it was a disaster. The patch kept falling off because I guess no one who developed it realized that you sweat down there ( I suspect it was made for people who have limited mobility). It was uncomfortable and it just didn't work well for me (I even tried bandage tape to keep the dang thing on). My level dropped and I became irritated at the smallest things. I lost it on the boss one day, he was riding me and honestly he deserved it, but I told him he could go F himself. Lost that job! No worries, I wasn't going anywhere there anyway.

Now I'm taking the androderm patch. It seems to get the levels right, but it causes burns on my skin. Kind of like a sunburn and the skin will peel. The literature says you can put it on a variety of places, but the only places it seems to stay are on the top part of my upper leg and on the upper arm, the deltoids region. So I have to strategically rotate where I go. Have not tried the gel yet because I've been getting mixed reviews in my research. There was a development with a buccal release system which I also haven't tried, you do it like the chewing tobacco commercials say "put a pinch between your cheek and gum".

I'm leery of switching treatments because I don't want another "Hulk" incident. Also this stuff is expensive in the States of Confusion. Having a job without insurance, even if it would make you insanely happy, is not an option. If no insurance the patches run about $275 for a month, thats almost $10 a day, the injectible is cheaper at about $70 a vial which will probably last about two months at a two week injection cycle. But the injectibles gave me such highs and lows. It gave me the wisdom to never poke fun at women with PMS, because I am a man whose HAD it! "Why are you so mad?" "Just forget it! I just am, OK! I just hate your face! That's why you idiot! Its your face and the way you walk and how you breathe and the clicky sound your eyes make when you blink! It disgusts me! Why do you have to blink so loud! Ugh, just forget it!"

So I deal with it. I probably know about my condition more than most endocrinologists. It's not that they are stupid or don't care. It's just a rare thing. If you want to know about diabetes or thyroid conditions, they are absolute geniuses and could talk your ear off about any new developments. But most have to look up KS because, well... we are anomalies. So, I search for clues... stem cells, genomic research, anosmia studies, anthropological histories of eunuchs, the effects of hormones on the brain, gender studies, transgender studies, in utero development, when does a boy become a boy and a girl become a girl, what gender properties are learned versus which are innate, LGBT activism, health care activism, how double blind placebo studies work, proper application of scientific method, can I pray my way out of this (evidence does not look promising for this method), what are the benefits of feeling like an outcast, the mechanisms of puberty and sustained reproductive functions, can this be a blessing or a curse, what are the effects of anosmia on basic human interactions that occur on a subconscious level, is Elvis really dead (just wanted to see if you were still reading), if a release of hormones at puberty is not present with us then what other lack of hormones do we experience, do I have a stunted adrenal gland response and is this why I hate roller coasters and other extreme stress activities, is there a link between KS and bed wetting (which I had), is there a link between KS and ear infections (which I had, for some reason the fluid would not drain down the tubes into the throat), what are the effects of looking "weird" as an adolescent and how does it translate into adulthood, is my brain more like a man's or a woman's, can KS kick off substance abuse or is it caused from feeling like you don't belong, do we really belong and is the outcast stigma more in our heads. There are so many questions.

Anyway, glad another site is up. I'll be checking it.